But I Don’t Understand…

What do we do when we are waiting patiently on the Lord; when all doors have been opened and we feel that we are on the right path according to His will; when we have bathed a matter fervently in prayer and are trusting Him to work in His time and His way—and yet one difficulty after another rears its ugly head to confound and confuse us?  Our hearts say, “We trust You, Lord, and know You are in control,” but our heads say, “But I don’t understand!”

This is where our family stands today.   Anastasia’s adoption has been completed.  The ten-day waiting period will be over tomorrow and she should be released to be with David and Julie by Tuesday or Wednesday.  All that will remain is for her American paperwork to be completed—birth certificate, passport, American citizenship, etc.

The problem lies with Oleg’s adoption.  Everything has been put on hold for a while due to new protocols in his region.  His court date for the adoption now is not until May 30th.   In the meantime Julie and David have been cooling their heels in Kiev, longing to go home with their new children and be with the three they left behind in the States.  What should have taken about five weeks will now stretch out to almost two and a half months and add about $5000 to the costs of the adoptions.  The emotional cost to them and the children have taken their toll, as well.

Julie is coming home tomorrow for a week to spend time with Benjamin, Joshua and Hannah and to finish preparing the house for Oleg’s and Anastasia’s arrivals.  She will return to the Ukraine in time for the court date, and then, after that, David will fly home while she remains to work on more paperwork and bureaucracy.  David’s leave will expire if he does not go back to work for a while, so he will not go back to the Ukraine until Julie and Anastasia are finally free to go home to the United States.  Then he will finally return once more to Kiev to finish up Oleg’s waiting period and paperwork and at last—sometime around mid to late June—he and Oleg will join the rest of the family in Alabama!

Sounds complicated, I know—and very disappointing.  David and Julie and others have been praying all along that God will close the doors on these adoptions if they are not His will, and instead the doors have remained wide open.  They feel perfect peace that they are walking in His will, and yet it has been far from easy.  This week while we have acknowledged that God is still in control, we have wondered why He has not moved things along so that they can have it all behind them go home—especially for Benjamin, Joshua and Hannah’s sakes for whom the separation from their parents has become increasingly difficult.  We are trusting—but we don’t understand.

That’s okay.  We don’t have to understand.  Isaiah 56:8, 9 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  God sees the whole path from beginning to end.  He sees how each twist and turn touches the lives of  all concerned.  He sees how each obstacle and trial refines, strengthens and matures us.  He alone can see how this whole process will, in the end, bring honor and glory to Him.

I’ve been telling myself all week, Don’t fret!  Relax and wait on the Lord.  Watch and see what great and mighty things He does.  Or as He Himself puts it, “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.  The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.” (Psalm 46:10, 11)

After all, this is what walking by faith is all about—trusting God when we don’t understand.  Hebrews 11:1 puts it this way, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”  II Corinthians 5:7 says, “For we walk by faith, not by sight.”  If we understood all the “hows” and “whys” and “whens” of God’s actions in our lives, we would not need faith, now would we?  We would not have the dependency of little children on our Heavenly Father, or marvel at how He works all things out for our best in the end.  We would not grow or become strong in Him—or have the testimony and praise to share with others of how great is our God!

God’s way is most often not the easy way, but even when we don’t understand, it is the best way.  “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5, 6)

One thought on “But I Don’t Understand…

  1. Cindy, my first thought when I began reading this was Isaiah 56:8, 9! This is a great devotional for any type of trouble we are going through. Our faith & walk with the Lord are always strengthened during these times. He has a plan!

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